I was kind of tired when I arrived at the track, but I assumed I would shake it off during my warm up run of a few laps. I ran with my friend M at 6:00 this morning, (8km) so my fatigue could be due to it being my first "double" since the baby. We were set to run 5 laps, 4 laps, 3 laps, 2 laps then 1 lap. By the end of the 2k (5 lap) I was spent. How could I possibly do any more? Why are my shoes full of lead? Ugh. I was keeping a pace of 6:25/mile. I was in the back of the pack. Mentally it was hard to take. I had *speed envy*.
I got through it, and my final lap was strong. I did want to lie down on the track as soon as I finished though. I plugged through a cool down run and drove home.
During the drive I reflected on all of those feelings of envy I had at the track. I wasn't envious of the other runners passing me by, leaving me behind with nothing but a slower time. I was envious of the runner I used to be when I would go out to the track or races. I was faster. It didn't seem so hard to stay closer to the front of the pack.
But, that was then, and this is now. I have to remember that I am the runner I am today. I am building my strength and endurance from this point forward, and every race and workout is something I am working toward as the runner I am now. I must stop thinking about getting *back* into shape, and start thinking about working on becoming a stronger athlete.
I am a runner and a mom. In a lot of ways, being a mom has made me more focused and faster. I have a four year old that asks, "how was your run?" when I walk in the house in my running shoes. My 2 year old asked me this morning, "did you put on your bandaid and your running shoes?" (I had a blister) I will probably still have moments that I wish I was faster (especially nearing the end of races when I can see people that have already finished, eating their bagel, wearing their medals, resting!) but I am going to resolve to be the best version of who I am now.
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| My three turkeys |
Happy Running :)
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