One Year

Exactly one year ago today.

One year ago today, I woke up after a wonderful night of sleep, rested and bleary-eyed. It was still dark, but I was ready. I had my best friend beside me, also eager and a bit bleary-eyed. We went down to the lobby of our hotel for some breakfast. I was ready.

After some last-minute checks/re-checks of my things, (one more bathroom break, and likely one more check of the weather forecast, knowing me) we headed up Boylston to Boston Commons.

Everyone walking had a big yellow plastic bag around their chest/shoulder, complete with a sticker of their bib number, and city of origin. It was fascinating to be a "bib number watcher" (just like people-watching, but the bib number at Boston holds a bit of a key to how fast the person is, so it's like you know more about them than meets the eye).

As Papa and I waited for my bus (the lineups were lonnnnnng) he kept me warm and cozy with cuddles. I mentally noted those cuddles, as I knew the day would be long, and the miles would feel longer.

It was such a gorgeous sunny day. The temperature was dreamy. It was perfect.

We all know that it became "not perfect".

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It is hard to believe an entire year has passed, since my mind raced with the thought, "everything has changed in this moment," as I ran down the street. Those moments that passed in slow motion. Those moments when I was searching for him. That moment when I found him (or he found me).  Those feelings of just wanting to be home.


The uncertainty.

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I have cried.  I have felt guilty.  I have felt proud.  I have felt angry.  I have felt scared. I have felt nervous. I have felt strong.

More than all of those things, I have felt the continuous momentum of moving forward.  The support and love I have felt from everyone I know.  My friends, my family, my colleagues.  I have lined up for races.  I have completed races, and felt the joy and freedom that running really is.

I know I am ready to be part of something special. again.